真诚与无趣

有时想真心相对, 却担心你会觉得我太认真而离开。我知道自己没其他人那么有趣了, 再真心讨论某些事, 你们不就觉得我这人的世界是黑白的吗? 想多深入地了解你, 也担心会弄巧反拙。如果已经能心照了, 那就可以一起傻闹了。但不真心相对, 又怎能心照呢?

那群朋友

有些友谊, 是羡慕不来的。有些共鸣, 是寻找不来的。有些事儿, 是勉强撑来的, 只是最终不舍放不下罢了。

经历了那些年的风风雨雨, 经历了那么多的七上八下, 经历了那日子的努力维持, 最终才忆起当初我们友谊的起因是学长们努力拼凑出来的。怪不得那么多冲突, 怪不得那么多坚持, 怪不得那么多默忍, 还是无法对他们放下戒心, 很真心的表现出最真的自己。总是不停地审判, 评价自己对他们的表现, 时刻回想刚刚的自己怎么好像做的不太好。怎么自己总是很努力才能加入他们的圈子, 怎么。。到头来自己的存在是无关痛痒的。想想, 如果自己忽然离开他们, 他们的反应如何。是会好奇?是会责怪?是会批评?还是不以为意? 得坦承的说, 在他们面前, 曾经的低落, 不在乎, 对某事的坚持, 都预料过结果。但, 很无奈, 得到结果, 自己却不满意。有人说过我不停地改变, 我却说不出为什么, 那时只敷衍了下就快转移话题了。说自己成长了? 不是。说自己明白了? 也不是。现在觉得比较贴切的说法是, 我从来没显示过自己。总是带着个面具, 而那面具就是他们了解的我。我说什么他们都不会相信, 我只能慢慢地营造自己改变的现象, 来尝试用另一个面具和他们相处。有个人, 好像比较了解我似的, 我们也不故意去了解对方多些, 总保持个安全的距离。没为什么, 只因这感觉比较舒服。踏前一步, 或许踩到地雷, 渐渐疏远。离别的那刻, 再散就没理由逼两人做回朋友了。但出乎预料的, 这人愿意透露自己的想法, 只是不是用说的, 是用写的, 结果挺不错的。友谊, 是多么的莫名其妙, 多么的无法预料。不怎么使力接近的, 感觉越来越近, 使力接近的, 人在心不在。那些人里, 有些我看不顺眼, 但不说。有些挺不错, 但接近不了。有的, 惹怒我了, 我总没表现出来。原因? 我不说了。

他们认为我不在乎这友谊, 只因我没努力拉拢大家聊天。我没试过吗? 你们有支持吗? 嘛是全部爱理不理的。最后我不理了, 你们却跑来怪我了。我累了, 戏总得告一段落。或许没那么直接了断, 或许只会慢慢散去。罢了, 这群人, 让缘分决定吧。

People don't know

Act like you don't mind, act like nothing happens, act like there's no difference. Actually you mind, but your reaction seems nothing has changed at all, people don't realise, they don't see a single change, they don't see your heart. You're waiting for them to realise, but they will never ever realise. If you want to keep it in heart, keep it and dont expect them to realise until you purposely leak some to them.

Further

Today, I notice that I'm further away from you. The hope of seeing you again has been reduced once again...

How to deal with idiots

We can't force people to change, we can only change ourselves. If you don't like someone, please do not even waste your time trying to argue with him, stay away from him will do. You can bring happiness into your life and free your soul. A brighter world awaits your realisation.

Keep it in heart

You have to understand. Sometimes, we can't say out the feelings we have in our heart. Or maybe there's no one we can say them to. It's not because of you're lonely, maybe you just don't want anyone of them to misunderstand what you meant. It's okay to keep things in heart, no matter it's negative or positive. If you want to be strong, you have to fight alone.